Invisible Tears

She stands at the precipice
and looks down

The hole is deep
Dark
Unknown

It's unnatural

Things shouldn't be that deep
that dark
or that unknown

But here it is
Proof that some things are

She can't help but wonder
what is at the bottom

Sometimes she comes to the edge
to sit and rest

With her feet dangling
she imagines what
it would feel like
to tumble
over
the
edge

Who knows?
Maybe it's better
there

One day
she'll find out

But not today

Today
she will continue
to sit at the edge
and peer into the
deep
dark
void

Today
she will simply wonder
what it would be like
to finally relax her grip
that keeps her
firmly planted
at the top

Would it be like flying?
Or merely
falling?

For now
she continues
to sit

Alone.

The world moves around her
as she cries
invisible tears

They must be invisible
she thinks

No one ever sees them.

Babies

Ben says
Babies are cute and cuddly
And people like to snuggle them

Then he asks
Mommy, why wasn't I ever a baby?

I tell him that he was

He says he knows he wasn't
Because he was never cute and cuddly
And no one ever snuggled him
So he must not have ever been a baby

And with no baby pictures of my boy
How can I prove him wrong?

Cacophany

the roar is deafeningto my ears
as I try to find
a place of quiet

the noise continues
on and on
until it becomes
the norm

there is a sudden lull
and I panic
because my ears
aren't used to the silence

I ask what happened
to the cacophony
then I remember:
the kids went to bed

Quietly Breaking

Sweet babe of mine
Turned sour
The sins of the father evident

Still you are mine

I remember the soft baby skin
And your toothless smile
And laughing eyes

Those memories sustain me
During troubled times
Of adolescent angst

If only I could go back
For one more cuddle
One more lullaby
One more bedtime story

Instead I can only look on
As your baby skin sprouts manly growth
Your once sweet mouth spits angry words
And your laughing eyes turn cold

My heart quietly breaks
There must be an easier way
To break free of me
Than to break my heart

But this is the way you have chosen
Or maybe it's the only way you know

So I'll keep loving you
Trying to determine the right distance
Close enough to catch you when you fall
But far enough
So that you feel the freedom you crave

Sweet babe of mine
Turned sour
The sins of the father evident

The love of the mother infinite